good job, yitzhak_groupie

Which Christopher Guest character are you?
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Won't you fly, free bird?

It's noticeable that this journal has gotten less and less personal. My life is not a life I want. I have lost touch with friends. I've hidden in my hole. And I've been replacing a real life with a life lived through the computer. My actions on the internet are coming not from my own desire to express myself through whatever creative works, but from seeking attention/acknowledgment/approval. I'm bored with it all, with everything but the attention. I'm no longer doing this for enjoyment, but for the acknowledgment of my existence and worth, acknowledgment that I am so hungry for. This is not what I want. This is not what I need.

Therefore, I am cutting it off. I'm putting this in all of my journals, all the parts of my world on this computer. I am going out now and I am making a life for myself. A real life.

This doesn't mean that I'll stop posting here or other places. I'm just removing that focus, that pressure, that has been plaguing me.

I don't care if you don't care. I don't care what you think about me.

Bye. ♥