![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
So I went back to my job with YMCA and I start today. Not really looking forward to it, but not really dreading it (too much) either, especially because my old boss got fired and I think the woman who replaced him will be better. We'll see how things turn out. I've just got to remember that I do have freedom in my life. I can easily quit if it gets to be too much. I can find another job. I can apply for Americorps. I can work until Jas dies and until I have enough money to go live in some other state if I want to.
So greataupair.com seems to be working reasonably well for me. No Icelandic families so far, but I'm being considered by three Norwegian families and one family in Finland. So yay for that. Each of the four possibilities are exciting in their own ways.
Oh, some really horrible news that I've been avoiding thinking about because I don't know what I'm gonna do about it: I've lost every single phone number and e-mail address I have. Strike one: I inadvertently erased my computer's address book when I did a complete system restore! Strike two: My old Portland State U e-mail address that I used for my most important business (including the e-mail containing addresses for the boss and all the people from the trail crew!!!) is not showing up, and I think it's been purged!!
There is no strike three, but those two strikes are all it takes! God damn it. What am I gonna do. I mean, I had the phone numbers of old friends from high school that I've always wanted to get back in touch with. And my only possible way to get back in touch with my counselor Julie, who helped me get over depression and get out of college for a while and decide to go work in a trail crew and who ultimately helped shape me into the person I am now. Gone. And all the e-mails from Alaska. That's the other one that's really got me. I've really really been wanting to catch up with everybody from the trail crew. Maybe they know of resources I haven't yet looked into. Plus, some of the old e-mails saved on there have huge sentimental value!
Here's what I really opened up livejournal to write about: I've been feeling kinda sentimental about the whole college experience lately. I was just reading this random girl's journal entry about her new dorm and she took a million pictures of her dorm and she wrote about her different classes and you could tell she was very excited about being in college.
So I was kind of imagining having my own dorm room decorated exactly how I want it, and having the scholarship money to irresponsibly buy books and furniture and go studying abroad to exciting places, and all the different cool classes and majoring in natural resources management and going on class field trips and being a good little studious student and how easy it is to get a cool work-study job and how so many of the best internships and work abroad programs are only for college students.
But I know this is just me fantasizing because my life currently sucks. I went to college the first time because I wanted the whole college experience, I believed that the purpose of going to college was not to get the credentials so I could get some stupid good job, but to soak up knowledge in any and every direction I felt like, to follow every interest where it took me. I have since learned that yeah, it's important to have a broad, diversified knowledge of things, but if you don't go to college with an ultimate goal, if you don't have one thing that you can really focus on, you're probably going to fail. And I'm not going back to college until I am absolutely positive I have what it takes to stay disciplined, until I am sure that I know what I want to do with my life and I am able to keep that focus. Until I have the energy and enthusiasm to make the most of such an expensive thing as college.
So greataupair.com seems to be working reasonably well for me. No Icelandic families so far, but I'm being considered by three Norwegian families and one family in Finland. So yay for that. Each of the four possibilities are exciting in their own ways.
Oh, some really horrible news that I've been avoiding thinking about because I don't know what I'm gonna do about it: I've lost every single phone number and e-mail address I have. Strike one: I inadvertently erased my computer's address book when I did a complete system restore! Strike two: My old Portland State U e-mail address that I used for my most important business (including the e-mail containing addresses for the boss and all the people from the trail crew!!!) is not showing up, and I think it's been purged!!
There is no strike three, but those two strikes are all it takes! God damn it. What am I gonna do. I mean, I had the phone numbers of old friends from high school that I've always wanted to get back in touch with. And my only possible way to get back in touch with my counselor Julie, who helped me get over depression and get out of college for a while and decide to go work in a trail crew and who ultimately helped shape me into the person I am now. Gone. And all the e-mails from Alaska. That's the other one that's really got me. I've really really been wanting to catch up with everybody from the trail crew. Maybe they know of resources I haven't yet looked into. Plus, some of the old e-mails saved on there have huge sentimental value!
Here's what I really opened up livejournal to write about: I've been feeling kinda sentimental about the whole college experience lately. I was just reading this random girl's journal entry about her new dorm and she took a million pictures of her dorm and she wrote about her different classes and you could tell she was very excited about being in college.
So I was kind of imagining having my own dorm room decorated exactly how I want it, and having the scholarship money to irresponsibly buy books and furniture and go studying abroad to exciting places, and all the different cool classes and majoring in natural resources management and going on class field trips and being a good little studious student and how easy it is to get a cool work-study job and how so many of the best internships and work abroad programs are only for college students.
But I know this is just me fantasizing because my life currently sucks. I went to college the first time because I wanted the whole college experience, I believed that the purpose of going to college was not to get the credentials so I could get some stupid good job, but to soak up knowledge in any and every direction I felt like, to follow every interest where it took me. I have since learned that yeah, it's important to have a broad, diversified knowledge of things, but if you don't go to college with an ultimate goal, if you don't have one thing that you can really focus on, you're probably going to fail. And I'm not going back to college until I am absolutely positive I have what it takes to stay disciplined, until I am sure that I know what I want to do with my life and I am able to keep that focus. Until I have the energy and enthusiasm to make the most of such an expensive thing as college.
