Nov. 14th, 2007

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Since the last post, I've joined a backcountry ski patrol, had my 25th birthday, almost been hit by a train, and seen a wild porcupine.

I saw the porcupine last week while going off to study in the wooded hills and oak groves behind my school. It was sunny and amazingly warm, I saw a nice open spot to sit down, came around a corner, and here was this little spikey guy rooting around for fallen pears. I was no more than 10 feet away, but it didn't seem to care much, just kept smacking its lips and grumbling to itself. I sat down nearby and we ate lunch together (I had a sandwich). Its amazing all the different critters I've seen back there. An owl, hawks, deer, cool bugs. I feel supremely lucky. Here's a video of the porcupine:

This last weekend, I went up to Willamette Pass for some trail work and training with the ski patrol. It was kind of an awkward experience, because I went with this guy, T, that my roommate P was trying to set me up with, and our personalities really clashed. To me (maybe it was just a wrong first impression) this guy seemed way too competitive, had a stick up his rear, and like was always trying to make himself look more impressive than me or something. Ugh. He was kinda cute--like Lex on Smallville, but with hair--and outdoorsy, but bleh.

Anyway, we decided to walk 1/2 mile through the woods to this patrol member's cabin in the dark. Eventually we came out on a train track. To the left there was a tunnel. We couldn't remember whether we were supposed to cross to the other side of the tracks or go through the tunnel. I said that I thought we should go through the tunnel. He said ok, so we went in. Even with my head lamp, it was dark, and we couldn't tell how long the tunnel was. After a while, the air became really stale and thick with fumes of some kind. I felt naseous. We wondered what we would do if a train came. The walls were narrow, but there were occasionally indentations that I thought maybe we could crouch in if we had to. T decided to try running ahead to see if he could see an opening. After a minute, he turned back and suggested that we should turn around. I agreed. We started walking quickly back the way we came. T had longer legs and walked faster. I kept feeling paranoid, thinking that I heard a train coming from behind. One time I stopped, then he stopped, and we listened. We could hear a rumbling.

T said, "Run!" So we started running. The fumes were awful to breathe in. He was way ahead of me. Then I saw the opening. There was a train coming towards the tunnel, I could see it! It honked again and again. I got to the opening. The train was right in front of me. Gravel sloped down from the tracks, there was no where to go, I yelled this, T yelled, "What?", I had to keep running on the tracks toward the train until finally there was a spot where I could jump down. It was less than a minute before the train got to the tunnel.

I have never come so close to death before. It was terrifying. It just kind of went around on a loop in my head all night. It's one thing to say, we're human, we're all gonna die someday. It's another to be faced with it right there in black and white: if you don't run, you will die. If you can't run fast enough, you will die. Death happens that fast, that easily.

It's caused me to think about all the things I've done and will do. All the dangerous experiences I've been through and will go through. So much of it is luck. Can I count on my luck holding year after year? I don't know. I tend to think of myself as an especially cautious person. I've believed that that's why I haven't yet broken a leg or needed surgery or been attacked or contracted a serious disease. But maybe I'm not as cautious as I think I am. In the future, I am going to try and think about things more carefully before going in, and be prepared for emergencies.

And, changing subjects completely, school: so far, I'm doing well. I'm making it through my 200-level science majors-only biology class, so far with a B+, and A's in my other classes. I can definitely tell a difference in myself from when I went to school the first time, and how I am now. I'm much more aware of myself, my needs and abilities, expectations, etc. I have a much clearer goal. Last time I was in school, I was so big on "lateral growth". I totally believed that everyone should use school for exploring their options, for wandering around and sampling whatever looks tasty. I scorned those who were there only to get a degree to get a job and make good money. Now, I'm one of those people. School is expensive. Now, I believe that it's wiser to explore your options by traveling and trying out different occupations first. To not go to school until you have a pretty clear picture of what your goal is. School is a means to an end, its purpose is to prepare you for your career. Fun classes can be taken later, when you have money and aren't racking up debt.

Speaking of money, there's this really cool non-profit business at school that's basically a used-clothing shop where everything is free. They have things donated from local trendy/funky resale shops, and if you're a student, you can take away 5 items of your choosing per day. I just ran over there and got pretty sweaters, some big black mary-janes, and a red 70% wool sweater I'm going to unravel and use for knitting Christmas presents.

To conclude, here are various (big) pictures:

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