Rest in Peace Jasmine

Today we put Jasmine to sleep. It did not go as smoothly as with DeeDee, but it's over now. I miss her and I love her so much. I hope that in the end she was able to feel the comfort I tried to give her and died knowing we were all there with her. It's amazing how you know without a doubt the moment life leaves. Mom left today too. She says she will be back soon, but I probably won't see her again before I leave. This evening Grandma and I watched a video I'd made of Jasmine when everyone was in NY.

Now it's Jasmine's dinnertime. It feels really unnatural that there is nothing waiting in my bedroom. I don't have to drop what I'm doing every couple hours to let Jas out. I don't have to feed any creature at night, I don't have to get up several times during the night to let her out, I don't have to be woken up in the morning to feed her. I don't have to wash any blankets and towels. I don't have to clean the blender. I don't want to throw away her food or her food bowl or her ball or her stuffed monkey. I wanted to and did throw away all her pills. I still have to clean up the dog poop in the backyard. I miss her so much. It was such a big job. A big part of my life, taking care of her, and this is such a terrible horrible emptiness.

I'm gonna go stay over with Aunt C. and Aunt G. and her dogs and my sister at the horse farm this weekend.