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atotalblamblamFirst of all, I'd like to say hej to my newest lj friend, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gissa! She is teaching me what it's like to immigrate to Sweden. Very interesting stuff! Welcome, gissa!
So now the latest thing is I'm going to have to move out of my grandparents's house soon. This just isn't working--my grandparents pretty much raised me, and even at 21, Grandma and to a smaller extent, Grandpa, cannot restrain themselves from controlling me. They don't like that I stay up at night and sleep in in the morning, they can't stand my organized mess, they don't like how I "spoil" my dog, Grandma thinks I dress weird and that because I don't like to cook I'll never get a husband. I'm tired of all the nitpicking, I'm tired of their brainwashing church that I hear about all the time. I'm tired of their radically offensive jokes and comments about liberals, "the orientals", "the gays"--basically anyone with a lifestyle alien to their own. Most of all, I'm tired of being almost constantly bombarded with insults to my integrity, my personality, my competence, my character, and my beliefs.
My plan was to begin giving the grandparents an affordable rent each month once I was able to (somewhere in the neighborhood of $100 to $200/month). I was thinking that that might allow me more freedom to be independent. But now I've got to face the fact, and the fact is that they won't relinquish their control over me until I'm out of the house. So I'm scrapping that plan.
The last few days I've been remembering my room from second semester at U. of Redlands. My beautiful blue-lacquered guitar that I bought for class and couldn't afford to keep. The big wall of windows all along my side of the room that I almost always kept open, where I hung a ton of rainbow crystals. Cockroach hunting in the middle of the night with a can of hairspray. Getting home from yoga and laying out on my bed, feeling totally comfortable in my body. Freedom of staying out all night and staying in all day. Yeah, there was a lot of college-connected anxiety and depression at that time too, but what I'm getting at is, I had my own place.
So options, options...
Aunt G. is not an option--not only would I have to pay rent (which is perfectly reasonable but not an option unless my job gives me more hours), but we clash with each other if we're together too much, and she has many, many issues of her own right now that I don't want to get pulled into.
Aunt J. is not an option. That'd be like going from bad to worst ever in the history of the universe.
Friends? Non close enough for me to feel comfortable asking.
Mom? Hooo no.
Uncle M. and sister R.? This one has possibility. Ok now, they live down in Southern Cal, Lake Arrowhead area--oddly, within two hours drive from Redlands. They're in the mountains, on the outskirts of a town so small it isn't even really a town. OH DUDE! DUDE I just thought of something, one sec. Ok, so, it's a huge house. My sis has her own penthouse on the top floor. Sounds fantastic, but I gotta keep in mind the dysfunction that I know is going on in that family. Could I handle a bellowing alcoholic and five really gross young boys on a regular basis, not to mention my sister's less-than-hygienic habits? There's a fair possibility that Uncle M. would take me on as a paid apprentice for his business, which is felling and removing dead trees that pose a danger as fire hazards. I am chainsaw certified, and have experience with everything except being a climber and felling still-standing trees (although I've watched the process several times). But could I handle working with him all day and living with him, too? Also, though I'm sick of the city, could I really stand not living somewhere as open-minded and free-thinking as Portland? Homer is so progressive, it wasn't an issue. Progressiveness might not be too big of a problem--Sis is pretty open-minded, and almost every phone conversation we have addresses a gay issue or two. I think she might be gay or confused (Aunt G. said Sis told Uncle M. she's bi, but Sis hasn't said anything to me about it), but that's a topic for another entry. So at least I'd have someone to commiserate with. And man, one of the best parts: I'd have the woods at my back door. Free to go walk off into the wilderness any time I need to. I'd have computer access to continue getting my years abroad in order.
And the part that I just thought of: Sis is visiting for a month. She will be here on the 13th. Maybe I can leave with her on her trip back?!!! Which means, oooh Aimee, you've gotta make up your mind and ask Uncle M. the big question: Can you let me live with you and give me a job? Said a lot more tactfully than that, of course.
Another living option maybe: Aunt G. told me about a non-profit in Portland she remembers from when she was an adviser to low-income young mothers. It's called Shared Housing, and supposedly it matches up young people to elderly people who are willing to give a young person a room or attached apartment rent-free in exchange for non-medical care. I don't know, I'm leaving it open as an option, but if too much care is required, I don't think it'd work.
Option: Work as live-in management staff member for a motel or apartment complex. This one is really iffy. It sounds perfect--an apartment is provided, and I'd have a paying job without having to worry about transportation and not being late to work. But I know very little else about it. Am I required to stay there all day and all night, seven days a week? Is it a dangerous place to live and work, dealing with sleazy tenants or neighborhoods? Basically, what sucks about it? There's a position open right now at a motel at the beach, and oh does it sound attractive.
If you guys have anything to add or can think of other ideas, please let me know!
gissa! She is teaching me what it's like to immigrate to Sweden. Very interesting stuff! Welcome, gissa!So now the latest thing is I'm going to have to move out of my grandparents's house soon. This just isn't working--my grandparents pretty much raised me, and even at 21, Grandma and to a smaller extent, Grandpa, cannot restrain themselves from controlling me. They don't like that I stay up at night and sleep in in the morning, they can't stand my organized mess, they don't like how I "spoil" my dog, Grandma thinks I dress weird and that because I don't like to cook I'll never get a husband. I'm tired of all the nitpicking, I'm tired of their brainwashing church that I hear about all the time. I'm tired of their radically offensive jokes and comments about liberals, "the orientals", "the gays"--basically anyone with a lifestyle alien to their own. Most of all, I'm tired of being almost constantly bombarded with insults to my integrity, my personality, my competence, my character, and my beliefs.
My plan was to begin giving the grandparents an affordable rent each month once I was able to (somewhere in the neighborhood of $100 to $200/month). I was thinking that that might allow me more freedom to be independent. But now I've got to face the fact, and the fact is that they won't relinquish their control over me until I'm out of the house. So I'm scrapping that plan.
The last few days I've been remembering my room from second semester at U. of Redlands. My beautiful blue-lacquered guitar that I bought for class and couldn't afford to keep. The big wall of windows all along my side of the room that I almost always kept open, where I hung a ton of rainbow crystals. Cockroach hunting in the middle of the night with a can of hairspray. Getting home from yoga and laying out on my bed, feeling totally comfortable in my body. Freedom of staying out all night and staying in all day. Yeah, there was a lot of college-connected anxiety and depression at that time too, but what I'm getting at is, I had my own place.
So options, options...
Aunt G. is not an option--not only would I have to pay rent (which is perfectly reasonable but not an option unless my job gives me more hours), but we clash with each other if we're together too much, and she has many, many issues of her own right now that I don't want to get pulled into.
Aunt J. is not an option. That'd be like going from bad to worst ever in the history of the universe.
Friends? Non close enough for me to feel comfortable asking.
Mom? Hooo no.
Uncle M. and sister R.? This one has possibility. Ok now, they live down in Southern Cal, Lake Arrowhead area--oddly, within two hours drive from Redlands. They're in the mountains, on the outskirts of a town so small it isn't even really a town. OH DUDE! DUDE I just thought of something, one sec. Ok, so, it's a huge house. My sis has her own penthouse on the top floor. Sounds fantastic, but I gotta keep in mind the dysfunction that I know is going on in that family. Could I handle a bellowing alcoholic and five really gross young boys on a regular basis, not to mention my sister's less-than-hygienic habits? There's a fair possibility that Uncle M. would take me on as a paid apprentice for his business, which is felling and removing dead trees that pose a danger as fire hazards. I am chainsaw certified, and have experience with everything except being a climber and felling still-standing trees (although I've watched the process several times). But could I handle working with him all day and living with him, too? Also, though I'm sick of the city, could I really stand not living somewhere as open-minded and free-thinking as Portland? Homer is so progressive, it wasn't an issue. Progressiveness might not be too big of a problem--Sis is pretty open-minded, and almost every phone conversation we have addresses a gay issue or two. I think she might be gay or confused (Aunt G. said Sis told Uncle M. she's bi, but Sis hasn't said anything to me about it), but that's a topic for another entry. So at least I'd have someone to commiserate with. And man, one of the best parts: I'd have the woods at my back door. Free to go walk off into the wilderness any time I need to. I'd have computer access to continue getting my years abroad in order.
And the part that I just thought of: Sis is visiting for a month. She will be here on the 13th. Maybe I can leave with her on her trip back?!!! Which means, oooh Aimee, you've gotta make up your mind and ask Uncle M. the big question: Can you let me live with you and give me a job? Said a lot more tactfully than that, of course.
Another living option maybe: Aunt G. told me about a non-profit in Portland she remembers from when she was an adviser to low-income young mothers. It's called Shared Housing, and supposedly it matches up young people to elderly people who are willing to give a young person a room or attached apartment rent-free in exchange for non-medical care. I don't know, I'm leaving it open as an option, but if too much care is required, I don't think it'd work.
Option: Work as live-in management staff member for a motel or apartment complex. This one is really iffy. It sounds perfect--an apartment is provided, and I'd have a paying job without having to worry about transportation and not being late to work. But I know very little else about it. Am I required to stay there all day and all night, seven days a week? Is it a dangerous place to live and work, dealing with sleazy tenants or neighborhoods? Basically, what sucks about it? There's a position open right now at a motel at the beach, and oh does it sound attractive.
If you guys have anything to add or can think of other ideas, please let me know!
