Ugg. Eyes hurt. Head hurt. Need food.
Feb. 24th, 2004 06:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
atotalblamblamSo I've been at the PCC computer center all day, completing job app's. I figured out that I can edit the fire lookout application, so good I can fix it. So I'm at the last step for the following jobs with the forest service: lookout, range aid, visitor use information assistant, forest aid. I just need to write cover letter type deals, and I'm done. But I can't concentrate to finish it tonight, dammit. I'm all computered out, and the low blood sugar thing is making it hard to focus. So I guess I'll save that till tomorrow. Here, I'll save you guys the annoyance:
In my search for a right now job, I found such interesting classified posts as: painting apprentice, vet assistant/groomer, sales associate at the Portland Art Museum, visitor guide at the Children's Museum, teacher guide for a Japanese exchange program, temporary bookseller at Powell's (but it's the one way over in Beaverton), various positions at a flower nursery, and ticketing at Portland Opera. So I should start all that applying and stuff tomorrow.
I'm applying to some Washington and Oregon summer camps and some Alaskan lodges for the summer too, but the pay is pretty shitty and I really need to get some money saved for Iceland/Scotland.
Man, I'm so sick of thinking about and thinking about and talking about and working on getting jobs jobs jobs. I don't think that's all that's important in the world and I don't like getting totally caught up in it. I want to work to live, not the other way around. Someday, I'm hoping the two will happily coincide, but until then, I don't want to be so job obsessed, no way Sir. I just wish I was done with all this so I won't have to worry about it any more for a while. And the stupid part is that I wouldn't have to focus so much on getting a job if I didn't procrastinate. But I do, I avoid to an astounding degree, and I'm sick of it.
I've also realized that I haven't commented in any friend's journals for a long time now, and I'm sorry about that. I just spend so little time on lj right now, and I shift to being an observer of lj land rather than interacting. So, sorry if I seem caught up in my own shit. I guess I am caught up in my own shit at the moment.
Meanwhile I'm feeling pressure from all sides of my family for me to be what they want me to be. Grandma's latched onto the room issue: my room's messy, and she just can't stand to even think about it, and so now she's disappointed and angry at me if I spend the day job searching instead of staying at home working on my room, and angry and disappointed if I stay home and work on my room instead of doing the job search thing. Lose-lose situation, chock-full of nagging. And Aunt G. is still in her mess, and she keeps calling me wanting me to fix things for her or babysit her while she lies around moaning and neglecting her dogs. I'm not her caretaker, and if I wanted a career in Aunt-caretaking, I would get paid for it. And I don't want a career in Aunt-caretaking, TYVM. I've got my hands full with my own life, what with jobs and traveling abroad plans and education plans and college loan debt and taking care of my elderly dog and cleaning my fucking room (which shouldn't be as important it's made out to be). I'm the fledgling getting ready to leap off the nest, and the fledgling's job is to leap off the nest, not to take care of its parents. If that sounds selfish, oh well. I take care of me first and foremost.
Well, it's gotten dark outside and I want to go home, which requires riding the heinous #72 bus, so ta ta.
In my search for a right now job, I found such interesting classified posts as: painting apprentice, vet assistant/groomer, sales associate at the Portland Art Museum, visitor guide at the Children's Museum, teacher guide for a Japanese exchange program, temporary bookseller at Powell's (but it's the one way over in Beaverton), various positions at a flower nursery, and ticketing at Portland Opera. So I should start all that applying and stuff tomorrow.
I'm applying to some Washington and Oregon summer camps and some Alaskan lodges for the summer too, but the pay is pretty shitty and I really need to get some money saved for Iceland/Scotland.
Man, I'm so sick of thinking about and thinking about and talking about and working on getting jobs jobs jobs. I don't think that's all that's important in the world and I don't like getting totally caught up in it. I want to work to live, not the other way around. Someday, I'm hoping the two will happily coincide, but until then, I don't want to be so job obsessed, no way Sir. I just wish I was done with all this so I won't have to worry about it any more for a while. And the stupid part is that I wouldn't have to focus so much on getting a job if I didn't procrastinate. But I do, I avoid to an astounding degree, and I'm sick of it.
I've also realized that I haven't commented in any friend's journals for a long time now, and I'm sorry about that. I just spend so little time on lj right now, and I shift to being an observer of lj land rather than interacting. So, sorry if I seem caught up in my own shit. I guess I am caught up in my own shit at the moment.
Meanwhile I'm feeling pressure from all sides of my family for me to be what they want me to be. Grandma's latched onto the room issue: my room's messy, and she just can't stand to even think about it, and so now she's disappointed and angry at me if I spend the day job searching instead of staying at home working on my room, and angry and disappointed if I stay home and work on my room instead of doing the job search thing. Lose-lose situation, chock-full of nagging. And Aunt G. is still in her mess, and she keeps calling me wanting me to fix things for her or babysit her while she lies around moaning and neglecting her dogs. I'm not her caretaker, and if I wanted a career in Aunt-caretaking, I would get paid for it. And I don't want a career in Aunt-caretaking, TYVM. I've got my hands full with my own life, what with jobs and traveling abroad plans and education plans and college loan debt and taking care of my elderly dog and cleaning my fucking room (which shouldn't be as important it's made out to be). I'm the fledgling getting ready to leap off the nest, and the fledgling's job is to leap off the nest, not to take care of its parents. If that sounds selfish, oh well. I take care of me first and foremost.
Well, it's gotten dark outside and I want to go home, which requires riding the heinous #72 bus, so ta ta.
